30-Day Challenge: Day 1

Why hello everyone. I've returned to let you all know how the 30-Day Challenge has gone so far.

even though it's the first day.

So, it's actually been a bit more difficult than I imagined. The tasks themselves aren't the hardest things to do. Instead, it's actually remembering to do them. I set a ton of reminders last night and I still forgot to do some. I think with the things that I love about myself and about life, I'm going to write them down for two reasons:

1. To help me remember to do it

2. To make sure I don't repeat the same things twice or more.

I did everything today so far except for my breaths before I go to bed as it is the afternoon currently. I listed five things I love about myself, took my breaths this morning and at lunch, and listed four things I love about life. I also have managed to make two people smile and laugh today along with added a new item to my bucket list. I've managed to do everything today, but I really gotta be more on top of my game. I think I might add something to the list, like three breaths every school period or something to make it more difficult, but I think I'll stick to what I have. I don't think I was allowed to change anything anyways!

Remembering to do these things is what's most difficult, especially since I'm not a morning person for my morning breaths, when I also have to take some medication. Luckily, it's working out for the most part. I actually feel pretty nice already. Once I remember to actually do the things on my list and get more on top of it, I'm sure I won't feel as hurried like I did. 

OTHERWISE, I am doing quite well. This is a short little post but just a little update on day one. Peace out everyone!

30-Day Challenge: Start Tomorrow!

Greetings everyone! I hope you all had a lovely weekend. I hope it was filled with relaxation for you. Mine was for sure. It was also filled with me lying in my bed pondering what to do for this 30-Day Challenge. I had a few ideas, especially after finally seeing my therapist on Thursday.

There were all sorts of ideas floating through my head. The main question I had to ask myself with them was "Is this something I'm actually going to keep up for a month?" I've tried asserting habits in my life multiple times, but sometimes the ones I actually want don't stick. This is also, of course, due to a simple lack of time. So I had to think of something that I knew I could manage to keep up for a month that didn't take too much time out of my regular routine of things. Meditation came to mind but I didn't know how long that would take, or a guided meditation to bring me into sleep. That latter one would work but the times that I go to bed tend to vary. I could try to go to bed at the same time every night but that would be too big of a change.

Finally, I came up with something right as I sat down in my class, Chromebook at the ready. It has a 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 sort of set up. I use a similar set up for a grounding technique I learned, though this time I'll be using it as a way to keep myself from getting depressed as easily.

Every single day for thirty days, I will have to do this.

• Name 5 things I love about myself

• Name 4 things I love about life

• Take 3 deep breaths in the morning, at lunch, and before I go to bed

• Make at least 2 friends smile and laugh

• And finally, add 1 thing to my bucket list

• And if I can, as a bonus, write an entry about whatever comes to mind on here or Wattpad at the end of the day

(I really want a typewriter though)

I made a bucket list a while ago (and lost it for a short bit of time before I found it buried under my pile of pillows) and found it was a great way to make me look forward to life when I otherwise was filled with thoughts of ending it. Since I finally found it, I've only added a few things then stopped. It now lies waiting to be written in again somewhere in my backpack. Writing a bucket list just gave me a reason to keep thinking of ways to keep going.

From research and advice given to me in years past, naming things you love about yourself can help you be more accepting of yourself, help you learn to love yourself, and help you learn to forgive yourself. Of course, loving myself shouldn't be the only reason I want to be alive, so I want to name some things I love about being alive and life in general from nature to the people in it. 

As for the deep breaths, I tend to be tense most of the time and I can get anxiety all too easily; just not having my phone on me 24/7 gives me anxiety as someone could be messaging me asking for help or my mom could be trying to contact me with news I can't otherwise easily receive. I think about those things. Deep breaths help and as those periods of the day are usually when I find myself most affected by anxiety besides maybe certain class periods, I think overall it'd be helpful if I took those deep breaths.

One of my favorite things to do is make people smile and/or laugh. It's amazing to see their eyes light up when you tell them how important they are or when you tell them a stupid joke. What I feel can sometimes resonate with what someone I'm close to and interacting with feels, especially when they're in a bright and happy mood. So, if they're smiling and laughing, I will be too.

Finally, writing is a good way for me to cope and get things out of my system in a healthy way, besides drawing, so I want to do that too. besides, writing it really fun anyways

Overall, this little challenge is going to help me improve myself. Go ahead and try this for yourself and do it along with me or just do it as you go. I feel as if this will benefit me and the people around me in multiple ways. What are those multiple ways, you ask? I'M GLAD YOU ASKED DEAR READER.

FOR ONE THING, it'll help me cope and be able to utilize healthier ways of calming myself down and keeping calm. My mind can go from lazily thinking, "What did you just say?" to hyper speeding "What happens if this happens? What if this happens? What if they think this? This isn't going to happen, there's no way. I need this in case x happens. Should I bring this or leave it at home? What happens if I do? What happens if I don't? Oh, this will happen if I do and this will happen if I don't!" My mind blows things out of proportion sometimes like that because that's what anxiety does, which can help cause more depression than I'm already affected with, which can cause more anxiety, and then I'm in this circle of despair. SO! This is my way of breaking out of this circle, saying "Screw you circle, I'm going somewhere else." 

This tends to be what the circle of despair would look like. Screw you, circle.

But oh dear Naito, how will this affect the people around you? I am not the only one among my group of friends who tends to resonate with the aura of someone. If I feel happier, more upbeat, and less easily depressed or filled with anxiety, then it'll be easier for my friends to feel better, help me get out of the rut I can get in when I'm depressed, and overall keep a good vibe within the group. Bad vibes can infect a group of friends and tear them apart. Of course, being happy constantly is unhealthy, despite how much it's pushed onto people that they should be happy constantly. However, it is good to get the bad vibes drained out of your body in healthy ways, then bring in good vibes like medicine for a sickness.

I also feel like improving myself in this way might provide an example to friends of mine who are also suffering in their circles of despair so that they might see what I'm doing and try it out. Practicing the items on that list for my 30-Day Challenge would be helpful to others as well in my oh so humble opinion.

I feel like I could add many more things to the list, such as saying "Everything is going to be okay" with my deep breaths, but I feel like there's already enough things to remember doing. Naturally, I'm going to set up reminders on my phone to help me get started until it becomes something I don't need a reminder for. This challenge feels like I'll finally start to be more relaxed.

This is what I wish to attain with this challenge so I can go through my day without constantly feeling worried or like something bad is going to happen. This is me trying to remedy something that I know I can't get rid of entirely. This is me saying "Look here you, wallowing in life is no way to live it, so let's make it worth not wallowing in!"

It's not going to be easy, but I'm going to do this challenge. Improving yourself is not an easy task, but this challenge provides an incentive to do it as not only am I improving myself but I'm doing something I want to do for a class.

woah that's new i actually want to do class now because of this challenge

To any of you who would like to read anything I write on Wattpad instead of on here for that little bonus part of this challenge, you will it here in this work, among writings of my past for when I just had to get something out of my head and into text or on paper. I'll update on how the challenge is going every now and then.

Thank you for reading and peace out.

Initial Post of an Odd Welcome

Why hello, me. This is a practice post of sorts. Welcome to a new blog, a new day, and a new class. Here, I sit. I sit in my Creative Writing class where in a not so new move for a high school class, we're using the internet to do stuff. However, in a new move that I have never done before in any class, we're making a public blog with two different projects/themes. One for one quarter, one for another. The first will be a 30-Day Challenge.

I'm sure that anyone can guess that tired little me does not have a single idea to do besides blog everyday and I can barely wake up on time every day. I'd try that, but weekends are for sleeping.

So, about myself. May as well so I can get used to this and so any lovely reader such as yourself can get to know a random person on the internet they've only just discovered.

I write novels. I prefer fantasies, dystopias, or pretty much anything fiction. Fantasies, dystopias, and other genres among those lines are my element. Other than writing, what other sorts of stuff do I like to do? Well...

I read and I write, I sing and I dance. Performing in musicals is something I love, and so is playing video games, board games, and Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I roll tiny dice shaped like various polyhedrons. I like big words as they help me compensate for my short height, and I like small things because they make me feel cute. I'm a lover, I'm a fighter, I'm a weirdo. Don't think I'll ever forget an Oxford comma. I read lots of books and other sorts of things, such as webcomics, Homestuck for example.

Yes, I'm one of those people.

I wear big glasses because I hate seeing the bottom of my frames and also because my vision is absolutely dreadful. Blue is my favorite but winter is not, and I enjoy the greatness of hot chocolate. I'll stand up for people but sometimes not myself. My mind is plagued with a mental disorder, possibly two, so don't mind me as I walk through the crowd of sheep with my head in and above the clouds on a whole another level.

Sweet or sour? I prefer sweet things because no one likes a sour person, and besides, why not both? I can speak a little of many languages including Japanese, Spanish, and a tiny bit of ASL. Music is my muse and provides a rhythm to things that otherwise would be left silent. Yes, even this little practice post! I write it with a rhythm in my fingers and it's flowing pretty nice but slips up every now and then. Like there.

I'm sarcastic and I speak my mind. Blunt is what I tend to be but hey if you really need it, we'll dump some sugar on it. I give great advice but sometimes don't even accept it myself. Imagery is fun, a picture painted with your own mind. Imagination moves the world more than money and steel. Maybe my perspective has to do with the fact that I'm technically an Aquarius to most people? I was born on a cusp you see. Capricorn or Aquarius, or how about a Capriquarius or Aquacorn? I usually orient with the sign known as the Water Bearer, which people find interesting that it's not a water sign. I concern myself with all sorts of things that I wish other people would be concerned about.

Gender fluid, polyamorous, bisexual, panromantic. These are the stickers I've put on myself, along with short, fiery, and blue-eyed. I can get fired up or I can get lowered down but no matter what happens I'll always be around.

As for some cons, I tend to be lazy. I'm easily tired and can be quickly irritated. I procrastinate a lot (isn't that a surprise?) and I can be either too loud or too quiet, too boring or too much, thinking too much or thinking not enough. Sarcasm is my medium until I must defenestrate it for a bit.

So hopefully from that, you now have some idea of the things that will be on here other than classwork. Therefore, welcome to the blog of a most curious individual. It's very nice to see you here even though I can't physically see you. Welcome to the blog of a weirdo whose mind is not among the singular mass.

Welcome to the blog including the shenanigans of a weird creative writer.